Searching For Happiness, Stumbling Over Pleasure

This picture was taken in Doura, Portugal…I am so grateful to the butterfly for posing for me! How often, in life do we search for things that are elusive? 

Throughout our childhood, we were taught valuable lessons that emphasized our uniqueness and potential to achieve greatness. However, the impact of these lessons on our happiness was never discussed. Despite achieving external success, many of us feel an inner emptiness, as our education system prioritizes success over happiness.

We were never taught how to handle rejection, manage difficult situations, or remain content and patient when things don't go our way. Therefore, we may succeed in our careers but still feel a sense of dissatisfaction. This is because we are missing something,  always wanting or needing more, and feeling upset about events beyond our control. Even with a blueprint for success, we are left feeling unhappy and unfulfilled.

  Unraveling the Pursuit of Joy

The societal obsession with happiness has led to a thriving industry of happiness coaches, self-help gurus, and motivational speakers, and our cardinal question is named after you: “How to be happy.” When the COVID-19 pandemic hit us and everything was under strict lockdowns, the most searched term for a period was ‘happiness!’ So, the hunt for happiness is common, whether you belong to the successful spheres of society or languish at the bottom of the socioeconomic food chain. But we started this journey to be successful, right?

When did we realize that, until and unless we take the essential detour to happiness, our success is meaningless? Well, all of us had this realization when we had the maturity to distinguish between pleasure and happiness. This is where we define the true colors of happiness and how we stayed colorblind all this while wearing the goggles of pleasure!  

Happiness, likened to a colorful butterfly in the Garden of Eden, is best attained by nurturing our inner world with positive thoughts, mindsets, and outlooks. Attempts to forcefully capture happiness,  akin to chasing a butterfly, only push it further away. The more you chase happiness, the more distant you get from it.  It's like a feeling that you need to inhabit but cannot obtain by any means. For instance, does goodness have a price? What is the true value of good deeds?

And what price tag will you put on kindness and love? If you humanely value these emotions and lead a life that aligns with these core values of humanity, happiness will be a byproduct that you will have in abundance. If happiness cannot be achieved  easily, its half-brother can be accomplished on an easy street named 'pleasure.'

The parentage that happiness and pleasure share is known as ‘illusion,’ while the  categorical distinction between the two can be established through another parent of our existence, which is called ‘emotion.’ Without going much into the complexities of psychology, let us paint a clear picture of how we always want happiness, but how unfairly the reins of pleasure always rule us! For instance, back in school, our obsession with grades was real, whether it was ours or our parents'. Good grades brought fleeting pleasure, not true happiness. 

We reveled in academic success but forgot that genuine joy stemmed only from dedicated learning, understanding, and mastering subjects. Our college years held similar illusions. We believed a six-figure job post-graduation would be our ticket to everlasting pleasure. Yet, the initial joy crumbled as reality set in—maybe the commute was grueling, colleagues weren't what we expected, or waking up early became a drag.

The pursuit of what we thought would make us happy left us more distraught. On the contrary, imagine that in college, your sole aim was to elevate the local food trucks, ensuring they thrived. This path promises a more enduring joy, as, unlike the abrupt end of pleasure tied to a six-figure job, a purpose-driven life offers sustained fulfillment, allowing you to discard superficial pleasures and embrace true happiness. 

Again, let's look at an individual who is highly driven to lose weight. If the individual is obsessed with losing weight and is hopping from one posh gym to another,  trying out all the expensive supplements,  and buying every lavish piece of equipment to sustain her workout routine, her search for the next best thing will never end. She will never experience the happiness of losing weight, which was her initial objective. 

This is because no matter how expensive or tech-heavy her next treadmill is, the fact of the matter is that she will still run on a treadmill whose primary purpose always remains the same. If she had switched to a more sustainable and balanced lifestyle, her approach to well-being and a healthy mindset would have given her happiness, but instead,  she was always on the lookout for momentary drops of pleasure until the next best thing caught her attention! Now, let's look at an Olympic athlete.

The thrill of standing on the winners’ podium signifies his hard work, discipline, dedication, and triumph. Yet, a gold medal, a mere material token, offers only temporary pleasure, eclipsing the enduring happiness derived from the journey and achievement itself. The fundamental thing to comprehend here is that happiness is a continuum, not something that lasts for a period or can be trapped and felt for a certain duration. Imagine happiness as a delicate handful of sand cradled within your palms, a shimmering essence that lingers when treated with a gentle touch.

The moment you attempt to seize it forcefully, it transforms into a whispering cascade,  slipping through your fingers with an ephemeral grace. So, how do we start worshiping and embracing the goddess of happiness and rejecting the false god of pleasure? The answer lies in how human beings behave and lead their lives in comparison to what their behavior boils down to in the light of their needs and wants!

Balancing Self and Service: The Dichotomy of Happiness

Has anyone ever wished how proud and happy they would be if they had a self-serving, self-centered, and self-protective life? On the flip side, you will find millions who say they are happy, they have changed the lives of others, they have contributed to the greater good, they helped others overcome obstacles, and they deeply care for the success and smiles of their near and dear ones! Again, let’s get back to school to get a sense of this simple phenomenon. 

Remember how much we laughed and smiled when we were in the group of our friends, and can you recall the looming sadness when we were brought home and were alone? And this feeling was mutual between you and your best friends! The same principle applies in life, which revolves around leading a life that brings collective happiness to you. Once we savor our experiences and moments, we start to realize and recognize the value of what we do.

This journey then automatically makes us more energized, more engaged, more motivated, and more happy. This is because instead of one favorable end, we focus on the enjoyable means and the natural flow of life that takes us there. When we reach where we intend to arrive at the beginning of our journey, we simply move on to the next exciting assignment in our lives instead of clinging to that momentary accomplishment. 

We don’t get drawn into the mirages of our minds that are disguised as pleasures but instead invest in long-term fun and enjoyment, otherwise known as eternal happiness! The crux of the matter is that to find happiness, we must embrace the experiential mode and silence the evaluation mode. In experiential mode, we immerse ourselves, absorbing the activity and imbibing life's flow. On the flip side, evaluation mode prompts constant comparisons and chasing of what seems better. This cycle distracts us from the journey, fixating us on what we are getting rather than the experience itself.

Navigating the Modes: A Hypnotic Approach

Well, you can use a powerful tool called hypnosis. Hypnosis will not throw you in the vicious loop of chasing happiness but will guide you on how to be free of this relentless chase.  Hypnosis will help you simply understand that genuine happiness cannot be achieved if every big achievement of yours is treated like a stepping stone to your next objective. Instead of winding you up with a key to run behind happiness, hypnosis will open the door to a realm of lasting bliss where you can break the shackles of perpetual dissatisfaction. One of the remarkable facets of hypnosis is that it will encourage you to stop chasing happiness frantically in the external world and will invite you to explore the wonders of your beautiful mind.

In this mind of yours, you can cultivate the five elements of life, namely physical health, emotional bliss, intellectual freedom, relational satisfaction, and spiritual transformation. Once you reshape your perception of these five crucial elements of life, you will be able to breathe happiness into your reality. With the help of hypnosis, you can magically turn your daily grinds into seamless flows of life through scientific exploration of your inner desires and authentic self. This will help you redefine your success in the conscious world. 

When your daily routine feels more fulfilling than draining, all the external pleasures and expectations will fade into the background, and you will get a real taste of spotless happiness. Hypnosis will ultimately teach you how to stop fueling the societal structure and frame of happiness by planting the seeds of a blissful existence that resonates with your inner alignment in the rhythm of your contentment. It’s enriching to make your life a melting pot of meaningful experiences (happiness), not just fleeting achievements (pleasure).

If you would like to create a more fulfilling and happier life, but don’t know where to start...

Book a free HOW TO LEAD A FULLER AND LIGHTER LIFE STRATEGY SESSION  so we can get you moving in the right direction.  Let's book a time together so you can get started today!  Use this link to book:  Appointment

Sainoor Premji  B.Sc, M.Sc (Holistic Nutrition), RNCP, MHt, Master Hypnotist, Akashic Reader, Holistic Nutritionist, Montessori School Teacher.   An expert in mind-body-spirit connection, Sainoor has traveled widely on her journey through life- the feedback she received most often from her clients is how wonderful it feels to be free of fear, doubts, and yo-yo dieting; how they now live their lives with hope and lightness.