Grief: An Everlasting Emotion that Shouldn’t Last Forever
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These pictures were taken in Oslo, Norway (Vigeland Park—the largest sculpture park in the world)—I love how expressive the sculptures are.
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Grief is an emotion that all of us experience in our lives.
“When you lose someone, you should bury them in your heart” – what this Korean proverb fails to say is the effect that burial will have on your heart and mind.
Grief is an emotion that all of us experience in our lives; whether through a loss of a family member or friend, separation from a loved one, a complete change of circumstances, or due to loss of something. The overwhelming emotion that we feel during these unfortunate times can take an enormous toll on us and can be intensely debilitating.
While some fortunate people only come face to face with grief when they are in their adulthood, some encounter loss at a very young age and keep on suffering this feeling many times throughout their life.
This state of emotion is so powerful, that often, people experience severe aches in their chest or throat and this makes them feel as if their hearts will truly break in sheer despair.
How Grief is intrinsically related to Love:
Just like love, grief can make or break people emotionally. The more one loves somebody, the more pain it causes at the loss of that special person—it could even be an adoring pet. Like love, grief has attachments to it; if the former comes with affection, care, and adulation, the latter comes with sadness, unbearable hurt, and deep emotional stress.
When people realize, that, the person, the pet, the friend, or the thing that they have lost cannot come back and be a part of their life, sadness grips them from every corner—the sadness of not being able to hold them ever again, talk to them, laugh with them, and share their feelings with them. This is the personal moment where we all feel life has left us and has given us a deep void that can never be fulfilled.
For many people, as time passes, it takes on the role of a healer. They learn to live with their grief and start focusing on the practical means of life, regardless of how empty they are from within. Tears dry up eventually and life takes its own course. However, there comes a particular event, day, or activity, when the memory of the bereaved one springs up in their minds and instantly makes them sad and wistful.
The emptiness still lingers inside, because it was not healed, it was only subdued and overlooked!
The reason the emotion of grief is so powerful, is that it is intrinsically related to love. If love makes us feel things and changes us for better or worse, grief does the same exact thing to us, and it is different in every case.
Outcomes of Grief:
Some people become angry at the loss of their loved ones, while some fall back to seclusion as they struggle to come to terms with their loss. Guilt is another outcome of grief—when an individual blames them for their loss or suffering. For some, the mourning becomes so intense, that, it fills up their heart with regret and depression. They go into complete isolation and fall into the cycle of hopelessness.
Another dangerous component of grief is bitterness. Since any loss is extremely personal and the feelings associated with the emotion are highly subjective, it sometimes turns the heart of people into a hardened stone. They become emotionally wretched and always assume the worst in people. Their resentment toward life stays with them throughout and makes their own lives unfulfilling and overwhelmingly unhappy.
And like love again, grief is capable of bearing some outstanding results, both emotionally and psychologically. This can be seen in some people after they come to the stage of acceptance that they have lost an essential part of their lives.
These people start valuing humane emotions more, the small enjoyments of life and become calmer and accommodating. In the case of young adults, there are many examples to be found all around the world, where a loss of a parent or a difficult breakup has made the person more determined, practical, and hopeful in life.
Except for the case when grief becomes a useful tool to move on in life, the feelings of anger, bitterness, regret, guilt, and depression that grief leaves behind are not the healthy elements of life.
How can we help someone through their time of Grief?
The general feeling that a person experiences at the time of a loss is “how unfair life is!” If this basic emotion is not addressed accurately in the grieving person, it does not allow the person to express their deep feelings about the loss appropriately. We can give the person a shoulder, an arm, or warmth but we cannot unlock the dark chambers of their minds where resentment brews at the time of a loss.
This is the time to give them a relaxed state of mind and give their deepest emotion a safe passage to fly with freedom. Just like tears, they need to pour their emotions out.
Even if a close friend or a loved one gives the distraught individual the warmest warmth that could be found on earth, the friend or the loved one should be equipped with the expertise to channel that horrific emotion into a hopeful feeling.
This is critical because, at the time of loss, too much sentiment or emotional pandering could also be detrimental to the mental space of the individual who is experiencing the loss at a very personal level.
How can hypnosis help someone experiencing Grief?
This is where Hypnosis can help you immensely. A Hypnotist has the keys to letting a person flow and express his/her grieving without any restraints. Instead of just saying that everything will be alright, a Hypnotist has the relaxation techniques to put one’s body and mind in a calming state.
They won’t force you to look at the brighter side of life, however, what they will simply do is put a perspective on your grief. In a session of Hypnosis, you will get to understand why you feel what you feel. When you know the ‘Whys’ and the ‘Whats’, you can focus your mind on the ‘how to handle’- part.
Hypnosis will address the memories of that person to which you fall back at the time of grieving. They will revive the memory, revitalize the broken bridges of the memory that this grief has caused, and ultimately re-establish them in a positive way that gives you strength instead of making you weak.
When you are in the subconscious state of mind, your memory, understanding, and perspective of the person whom you have lost become highly malleable. This state is closely observed by the Hypnotist, who, then, gives you the tools and a roadmap to navigate through the positive elements, ignoring the negative corners.
At the end of the day, you will see how the memory of your loved one has become a treasure to you, a powerhouse of strength to you, and a source of motivation to you.
So, treat your pain with the peace of Hypnosis and enjoy the memory of your loved one instead of making the same memory a reason for your sadness!
If you would like support to help you through your grief, but don’t know where to start....
Book a free HOW TO LEAD A FULLER AND LIGHTER LIFE STRATEGY SESSION so we can get you moving in the right direction. Just click on my calendar LINK and let’s book a time together so you can get started today!
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Sainoor Premji B.Sc, M.Sc (Holistic Nutrition), RNCP, MHt, Master Hypnotist, Akashic Reader, Holistic Nutritionist, Montessori School Teacher.
An expert in mind-body-spirit connection, Sainoor has travelled widely on her journey through life- the feedback she received most often from her clients is how wonderful it feels to be free of fear, doubts, and yo-yo dieting; how they now live their lives with hope and lightness.
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